Managing Expectations as Parents
With Special Guest Ash Castro of @thepurposepilot
In this episode, we walk through steps to help us manage our expectations as we face this long-term reality of a pandemic.
We were all operating on pre-COVID expectations of ourselves and using band-aid solutions to get through the pandemic. So how do we find space to focus, how to shift expectations, and not just “survive” this pandemic, but really find a way to thrive? In this episode, Ash, mom of two kiddos and founder of The Purpose Pilot, guides us through steps to manage our expectations so that we’re not just surviving, but thriving.
Ash was already working through her identity as a mom (her kids are under 2!), but now she’s faced being a mama and also running her digital communications business. Since COVID-19, it’s been difficult to get in a creative headspace when having to work from home with Peppa Pig in the background and two wailing kids. Like everyone else, she started using band-aid solutions like putting on her “work clothes”, making to-do lists, creating a workspace, but in the end, these are just short-term solutions that can be helpful, not long term. Does this sound familiar?
Ash recommends starting by journaling! This isn’t your typical long task list (which works to a certain extent) but for this exercise, be intentional by getting into a headspace in the short windows you have to think about what your expectations are.
She reminds us to check-in with ourselves to ask:
What emotions are you carrying? How are you perceiving yourself in the current situation?
Ash tells us to see if you’re experiencing things with grace or exhaustion. Maybe in your head, you already feel ahead or behind. Check-in to see how you are receiving and reacting to the situation.
After checking-in with ourselves, we have to check-in with our expectations.
Ash recommends asking:
What are your professional, personal, and family expectations?
When we verbalize our expectations that we’re holding and checking in with what they are, we find what we believe has true value and purpose in our lives.
Once you’ve checked in with yourself and your expectations it’s time to
Prioritize. Pause. And Let go!
It’s time to check to see what your priorities are and which expectations are essential. Destiny shares that she wants to prioritize celebrating her friends on their birthdays! Ash reminds us to make space for whatever we feel we need to feel like we show up. That might mean having to pause longer conversations with friends and letting go of lists of people to check-in on. Ask yourself:
How can we show up in a way that’s healthy and makes us feel like we’re succeeding?
Give yourself permission to pause and let go in order to succeed and feel fulfilled. Remember:
it’s not about just surviving, but thriving.
Finally, it’s time to take action. Ash advises us to ask:
What actions can you take to realign the things that came up here?
She tells us that this is where communication is key. This is the chance to communicate with yourself (and your community!) on what you can let go, pause or prioritize or communicate with others on what your plan is.
When you come from a space of clarity, you will show others that you have a vision for your wellbeing (and likely theirs) so DO it.
Remember: we have to start by doing the work ourselves, so check our hearts to see what it takes to reach success.
Tune in to get more applicable tips on managing your expectations and see how you’ll thrive.
Watch the conversation here.
Resources from the Episode
If you’d like to listen to more live chats, you can check out the whole IGTV series at www.instagram.com/redandoliveco/channel/
Produced in partnership with The Purpose Pilot.